Recommended Books

Review

We teach our children how to tie their shoelaces, how to read, how to ride a bike. We explain the weather and rainbows and why people have jobs. But when it comes to explaining the forceful, baffling, intense and marvellous emotions that we might experience, well, things become vague.

Nurturing your child’s ‘emotional intelligence’, so they can understand and process their own emotions, is one of the most important things you can teach your child. But parents are often at a loss as to how best to do this. And your child’s big, complex emotions can also be somewhat scary.

In this book, clinical psychologist and family therapist Dr Anne Lane provides a compass through that haze of uncertain emotional parenting, to help parents teach their children the crucial life skills that create emotional intelligence. She equips you to understand your child’s emotions from pre-schooler through to pre-teen and, importantly, gives you the tools and advice you need to help THEM accept and understand these emotions.

As the conversation around children’s mental health continues to grow, this is the book all parents need.

“I adore this book! Brain-Body Parenting updates outdated lenses, offering powerful, practical ways think about and respond to children. Dr. Delahooke shows caregivers how to understand children’s emotions and behaviors, and guides us to respond in ways that are transformative both in the challenging moments, and in our child’s development over time. Parents, teachers, grandparents, and the children they love, will all be deeply impacted by this beautiful book.” — Tina Payne Bryson, LCSW, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling co-author of The Whole-Brain Child & No-Drama Discipline, and author of The Bottom Line for Baby

In Brain-Body Parenting Dr. Delahooke expands on her paradigm shifting-model of treating children with disruptive behaviors. In contrast to prevailing models that dominate parenting manuals and educational arenas, Dr. Delahooke provides a more compassionate approach that addresses the needs of a child’s nervous system and offers insightful examples for readers to rethink and restructure their parenting. This book is a game-changer. — Dr. Stephen Porges, author of The Polyvagal Theory

“Brain-Body Parenting is an essential guide for parents craving a deeper understanding of their child’s needs, as well as their own. Drawing on insight from her decades of experience as a clinician and mother of three, Delahooke shows readers how to be better detectives when interpreting their child’s signals and how to apply attuned, responsive care to specifics like sleep, play, and skill development. This book is a gold mine of advice.” — Janet Lansbury, bestselling author of No Bad Kids and host of Unruffled

“Dr. Mona Delahooke’s latest book Brain-Body Parenting is an incredible, much needed gift to the parenting world. In her gentle, wise way she explains how our little children can struggle with learning how to navigate life and relationships. She not only shows the why, she shares so many stories of how parents can support their little ones to grow and thrive. This brilliant book needs to be in every home, early childhood setting and primary school.” — Maggie Dent, bestselling author of From Boys to Men and host of the Parental As Anything podcast

“In this revolutionary book, Dr. Mona Delahooke shares powerful insights and groundbreaking research for understanding a child’s challenging behavior through the lens of neuroscience and polyvagal theory. With clarity, compassion, and easy to apply strategies, she offers parents and professionals a path to move children toward self-regulation, balance and stability. An absolute a must read.”  — Susan Stiffelman, MFT, author of Parenting Without Power Struggles

“In Brain-Body Parenting, Mona Delahooke translates the latest relational neuroscience research into easily readable and actionable support for parents, amplifying the importance of attuned and loving parent-child relationships. I will be recommending this book to every parent who has at times struggled with their child’s out of control behavior, or their own—which is everyone!” — Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and founder of Aha! Parenting

“This book offers a radically effective approach to parenting that will turn everything you think you know upside-down. Firmly rooted in science but also practical and insightful, Brain-Body Parenting provides an easy-to-follow pathway for parents to help their children thrive without losing themselves in the process.” — Kristin Neff, PhD, Author of Self-Compassion and Fierce Self-Compassion

“Mona Delahooke speaks to parents like no other as she responds to their concerns and questions with understanding and insight. Her ability to translate and integrate neuroscience with body signaling and a child’s emotional experience unravels the mystery of behaviors, offering an exquisite integration of mind, body, and heart. Dr. Delahooke’s knowledge of behavior and development is a moving force that will continue to enhance all we do as parents and clinicians” — Serena Wieder, Ph.D., clinical director of Profectum Foundation and co-creator of the DIR model

“In Brain-Body Parenting, Mona Delahooke shares extensive knowledge about how children feel, think and act, using a remarkably astute lens to reveal how and why the nervous system affects children’s behaviors and attitudes. With thought-provoking examples and scientific underpinnings, Delahooke provides myriad strategies for fortifying parent-child relationships with love, compassion, and understanding. This book is destined to become a ground-breaking classic!” — Joanne Foster, Ed.D., gifted education specialist and author of ABCs of Raising Smarter Kids

• Beyond Behaviors provides the basis for a paradigm shift in understanding and treating children with disruptive behaviors. Historically, educational and therapeutic models treat anti-social and asocial behavior as motivated and incentivized. In this accessible and beautifully written volume, Dr. Delahooke pulls the veil off this myth and replaces it with a neurobiologically-informed treatment model that provides insightful directives leading to effective outcomes. —Stephen W. Porges, PhD, Distinguished University Scientist, Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry, University of North Carolina, and author of The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe

• As a developmental psychologist, compassion teacher, and autism mom, I can whole-heartedly say this book is brilliant. Traditional methods of shaping children s behaviors typically ignore children’s emotional state, at great cost to the child s ability to learn, develop, and form secure relationships. This book provides concrete ways to help understand safety as the foundation for children s learning, working with rather than against natural brain functions to maximize learning potential. —Kristin Neff, PhD, Associate Professor, Department of Educational Psychology, University of Texas at Austin, and author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

• I love this book. It will be one I give and recommend over and over. Beyond Behaviors is succinct, accessible, practical, science-based. And it s a game changer. My hope is that not only parents, educators, clinicians, and all helping professionals read it, but that it becomes required reading for professionals in training. It s time for us to use science-informed approaches to go beyond mere behaviors to support children and their caregivers, and this is the book to light the way. —Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, LCSW, Executive Director of The Center for Connection and co-author of the bestsellers The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline

• This book will embrace every parent and professional puzzling over behavioral challenges and make you question the assumptions about their meaning and re-evaluate how to help. Dr. Delahooke reframes our understanding by integrating perspectives from development, brain science, mental health, and child and parent experiences using example after example to guide you towards insight and compassionate approaches that are respectful of neurodiversity. Beyond Behaviors will help every child and family progress, feel safe, enjoy relationships, and develop to their fullest. —Serena Wieder, PhD, Clinical Director, Profectum Foundation, co-creator of the DIR Model, and co-author of The Child with Special Needs and Engaging Autism

• “Dr. Mona Delahooke is a child psychologist with over 30 years of experience working with children who have behavioral challenges, including those who are neurodiverse and/or have experienced early trauma. In this easily readable book, Dr. Delahooke encourages child professionals and families to see concerning behaviors as the tip of an iceberg that obscures early embedded feelings of danger or life threat. With compassion and insight, she guides us toward creating healing environments of safety and security.” —Marilyn R. Sanders, MD, FAAP, Attending Neonatologist, Connecticut Children’s Medical Center and Professor of Pediatrics, University of Connecticut School of Medicine

• “I love Beyond Behaviors for a whole lot of reasons. First, I think, is the message of compassionate non-judgment. Mona Delahooke shows how important it is that parents be compassionate with themselves, and practice good self-care techniques as necessary prerequisites for intelligent responding to their challenging children. One of the best features of this book are the practical, empowering, step-by-step ideas for finding the calm self-acceptance necessary for building a healing, supportive relationship with even the most challenging and frightened child. —Dona Matthews, PhD, Developmental Psychologist and co-author of Beyond Intelligence: Secrets for Raising Happily Productive Kids

• Mona Delahooke provides a reality check for those who seek to ameliorate children s behavior. She offers a fresh, comprehensive perspective, and a more humane way of understanding, teaching, treating, and supporting children who are struggling. Dr. Delahooke focuses on an integrated mind/body approach, helping parents and children deal thoughtfully and respectfully with behavioral differences and the iceberg of causality. Beyond Behaviors includes case histories, worksheets, practical strategies, resources, and an abundance of information empowering readers to understand what underlies behavioral challenges, and forge meaningful, healing, lasting solutions. A welcome addition to the literature on parenting! —Joanne Foster, EdD, is an expert in gifted education and child development, and co-author of Being Smart about Gifted Education and Beyond Intelligence

• Brilliant! Dr. Mona Delahooke integrates knowledge from the fields of infant mental health, child development, clinical psychology and neuroscience to provide a revolutionary approach to challenging behaviors in children. Complex neurobiologic processes are beautifully translated into a practical model for meaningful intervention. The unique, yet critical, perspective on children’s most challenging behaviors has the power to transform lives. This book is an essential read for all people who care for or interact with children. —Megan Stilwill, DO FAAP, Pediatrician

• This is a wonderful book that takes complicated concepts and new ways of thinking about children and makes them digestible and useable for parents and professionals alike. —Mim Ochsenbein, MSW, OTR/L, Director of Education, The Star Institute for Sensory Processing Disorder

• “This book should be required reading for frustrated parents and those of us in a position of diagnosing or creating behavior plans for children. Imagine the amazing outcomes if we followed Mona Delahooke’s guide to empower and support children through their big feelings and behaviors, rather than focusing only on the tip of the iceberg.” — Nicole Schwarz, MA, LMFT, Parent Coach

• In Beyond Behaviors, Mona Delahooke, PhD, applies the Polyvagal theory developed by Stephen Porges to children, convincingly making the case that many children who can’t seem to behave themselves simply don’t have that developmental capacity yet, and giving us a social-emotional roadmap for how children learn to self-regulate. Delahooke guides us to the realization that children act out when they feel stressed, so the most important tool in our toolbox is always our connection with the child, which restores safety. This break-through book reframes children who exhibit “problem” behavior and challenges us as therapists, teachers and parents to shift our own paradigm so that we can help them. Highly recommended. —Dr. Laura Markham, author of the Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

“An earnest and instructive guide…Parents of teens will appreciate the authors’ well-reasoned and practical approach.”
—Publishers Weekly

“Launching into the teen years without this book in your hands is like taking to the sea in a boat with no rudder.”
—Kelly Corrigan, New York Times bestselling author of Tell Me More

“A reasonable, actionable bible for parents of teens, this book will give grit, guidance, and guideposts for raising kids who still speak to you during their high school years.”
—Zibby Owens, creator and host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books

“This book provides sound advice for parents trying to help navigate their teen’s journey through life.”
—Midwest Book Review

“At a time when parents are bombarded with so much contradictory advice about their children’s education that it’s a wonder they can even breathe (let alone think), The Parent Compass offers counsel that is wise, calm, comprehensive, and most important of all, well-informed. These are experts you can trust.”
—William Deresiewicz, New York Times bestselling author of Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life  

“My new parenting bible!”
—Deirdre Fitzpatrick, morning news anchor at KCRA TV/NBC 3 Sacramento, Host of the Dying to Ask Podcast

“Great for parents or anyone interested in empowering young people. As a co-author of the book Unacceptable, I saw the end result of the cutthroat college admissions process and just how off track people could get. This is the book that could help many parents from going down that road to begin with. Curtis and Muchnick couldn’t be better guides; they deliver smart and helpful advice with a huge dose of empathy. They speak as experts who have been in the trenches, and as parents, and they deliver lots of great anecdotes that make this a very relatable book. It is never preachy or dry—it’s like sitting down with your wisest friend, one who wants the best for you and your kid.”
—Jennifer Levitz, co-author of Unacceptable: Privilege, Deceit, and the Making of the College Admissions Scandal

“This really is a remarkable book. It strikes a balance between being an involved parent and being a helicopter parent, between a clear-on-the-sidelines parent and everything in the trenches; it saves the day.”
—Brian Rogers, faculty, Webb Schools, and author of The Whole of the Moon

“At a time when our love for our children is being contorted into actions we may no longer recognize as parents, this book offers a compassionate but firm users manual for how to navigate some of the most treacherous years of a young person’s life. Parenting is the most difficult role in society today, bar none: the sense of scarcity and abundance of fear have turned us upside down in many ways. The Parent Compass is the guide that will help us to stop snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and bring us back to principles. And when the principles are clear, the decisions are easy.”
—Than Healy, head of school, Menlo School

“Superbly researched with anecdotes that bring parent etiquette to life—a phrase that I just love! Fair warning, expect to have your hand metaphorically ‘slapped’ now and again, as it is a necessary part of learning how to best support our teens. Fortunately, this is done in kindness with the insights of how to do better for the overall well-being of your teenager. Follow their advice and you will have a healthy teenager; better yet, ten years from now, you’ll have a healthy and contributing young adult.”
—Dr. Mike Riera, author of Staying Connected to Your Teenager and head of school, Brentwood School

“The Parent Compass helps parents resist the urge to hover and micromanage, and guides them to reflect deeply on their actions and make important changes to support their teen’s long-term well-being and success.”
—Dr. Denise Pope, senior lecturer, Stanford University and co-founder, Challenge Success

“This book offers a refreshing look at current foibles of all involved in the educational process and provides common sense suggestions for better parenting.”
—Linda Winrow, high school teacher and educator for nearly 50 years

“This is a very timely and important book . . . for parents  . . . [and] the landscape is ever changing. The Parent Compass provides great advice and guidance from experts of all types.”
—Michael Dennin, professor of physics and astronomy and Vice Provost for Teaching and Learning, UC–Irvine 

“It’s hard enough for today’s teens to feel constant pressure from the outside world to knock it out of the park further than everyone else around them, but when parents overstep boundaries by writing their kid’s papers, speaking for them, and micromanaging their lives into the ground, that’s crossing a line. The Parent Compass is a truly necessary resource that helps keep parents in check when the urge strikes to helicopter and bulldoze and interfere in the parts of our teenage kid’s lives that should be up to them to manage.”
—Lisa Sugarman, nationally syndicated columnist, radio show host, speaker, and author of How To Raise Perfectly Imperfect Kids—And Be OK with It

“Parenting teenagers is hard work, plain and simple. In an era where common sense seems to have disappeared and our parental anxieties rule the day, The Parent Compass is just what families need to help guide them through the forest of adolescence. The Parent Compass is an excellent tool to reassure parents to trust their instincts and ignore the drop-off line gossip and cocktail party hysteria. The advice it provides will allow all of us to more thoughtfully and lovingly parent our children while still preparing them to be healthy adults who can make it in the world.”
—Chris Mazzola, head of school, The Branson School  

“Finally—a book that calls out what we know to be true about how overly involved parents can negatively impact a child’s development, while offering simple ways to implement practical advice on how to help our children thrive during their teenage years. A must read for any parent who wants an emotionally healthy, confident, independent child!”
—Jill Quigley, principal, middle & upper schools, TVT Community Day School

• Audrey Monke has a master’s in psychology and has worked with thousands of parents and campers as owner and director of Gold Arrow Camp in Lakeshore, California, since 1989. Known by her camp name “Sunshine,” Audrey is a speaker and writer about positive parenting techniques for raising successful children. She is a former president of the Western Association of Independent Camps, as well as a regular contributor to Camping Magazine and the American Camp Association’s Camp Parents blog. Visit her website at sunshine-parenting.com.

• Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., LCSW, is the New York Times bestselling co-author (with Dan Siegel) of The Yes Brain, The Whole-Brain Child, and No-Drama Discipline (Random House). She’s a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting consultant, and the director of parenting education and development for the Mindsight Institute. A frequent lecturer to parents, educators, and professionals, she lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.