Free Mom Hugs: Reach Out to Be Heard, Held & Supported

I was scrolling Instagram tonight and saw a post that said, “Study finds that a phone call with your mom can reduce stress just as much as a hug.”

Sweet title, I thought. And then I read a few of the comments, and kept reading – because I couldn’t turn back.

A few of the comments were touching “as is” – things like “I love my mom so much!” As a parenting coach and author, of course it warms my heart when people of any age clearly adore their moms. In fact, it inspired me to write a very simple social media post of my own.

My post said, “I strive to be the kind of parent that my child will want to call someday.”

I kept reading, though, and my heart started to feel a dull ache as I saw comments like these:

• My mother passed away when I was 18. Miss her greatly. I feel like I would’ve added years to my life if she was still alive 😢❤️
• My mum passed away last November. Her dementia was worsening towards the end but I’d give anything to have a phone call with her now. I am an only child and my dad [died] when I was one, so she brought me up all on her own whilst devastated from losing her soul mate. She was the best person I’ve ever known. I miss my mum. Call your mum. You’ll never know when the last time will be.
• Saw this and thought well I wish we can make phone calls to heaven cuz I sure would love to hear my mom’s voice again especially right now bcuz I’m planning my wedding and I’m overly stressed and need her help.

And then there were other kinds of posts that pulled at my heartstrings: the ones where people have (or had) troubled, hard, and sometimes traumatic stories to share about their experiences with their moms.

This should not be.

I also realize that what I’m about to put out here is not a traditional offer, and it may not make a difference in anyone’s life. I have to try, though.

As a Mama, I have this innate desire to love and to protect not only my own child, but also every other child out there. Even if the “child” who needs protecting and nurturing is actually an adult now — anyone who wants to be “mothered” with tenderness and compassion.

Although I can’t promise we’ll all be having Thanksgiving dinner together next year, I can promise you these things:

• If you write me a message, I will read it.
• I will hold space for you in my heart.
• I will pray for you.
• I will imagine giving you a warm hug with no strings attached – nothing complicated or weird about it – just love.
• And I will believe that somehow, some way (in whatever way it may be possible – gosh, I don’t know), you might feel my virtual hug give you just the tiniest bit of comfort. How would it feel to know that someone out there is sending you love?

Please know that I care. Deeply.

My only requests are these:

• If you need therapy, emergency services, or anything else, that you will seek them. You matter so much.
• No weird messages, please.
• Also, no spam. I am not looking to increase my line of credit or whatnot.

I can’t promise to respond (especially since the email field is optional to help this feel like a safe space for those who want to stay anonymous), but if you have news to share that you want someone to be excited about, I will share in your joy! Or if something is stressing you out and you need a non-judgmental place to share it, or just need to vent, you can do that here. It doesn’t have to be related to parenting (although that’s primarily what this site is for, so if you want a resource about a particular topic, let me know – and DO include your email if that’s the case).

I just want everyone in the world to know that they are loved and that they were no “accident.” Is that too lofty a goal? The world needs you. Truly.

This means you. ❤️

xo,

Sarah, author of “Peaceful Discipline”

Now, what would you like me to know?