I wonder what her story was (and is).

Earlier today, our family went mini-golfing. A young couple, who, judging by their body language, was likely in the fairly early stages of dating, was behind us on the course. 

I didn’t love it when the girl started teeing off with full-size golf swings. The balls she hit were flying over people’s heads, and she laughed every time. I was worried she’d hit someone. The course was crowded. I came very close to saying something. I decided to wait for just one more swing because I didn’t want to be *that* person, and fortunately, she stopped without any intervention. 

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Two holes later, I noticed the girl had somehow cornered a bunny at the side of a fence that it couldn’t get through at the edge of the golf course. The area was roped off. She was kneeling down and calling to it, bidding it to come over. (Not surprisingly, it didn’t.) 

When I looked back again a couple of minutes later, she had crawled into the roped off area and was trying to poke the bunny with her golf club. I could see that it was alive and well and just beyond her reach, but it had nowhere to go from where it was. 

Without really thinking, I started walking briskly over toward her, just as she was about to poke it with the club. I called out, “Excuse me!”

She kept trying to poke the bunny, kind of jabbing the handle at it. Now, I am a pretty quiet person, but in this instance, it took only one more “EXCUSE ME!” to get her attention. 

She and the guy she was with stood up quickly (he’d been crouching down looking with her). I smiled at them. They backed away, guiltily, and crossed back over the ropes to come back into the non-prohibited area — looking very uncomfortable. I stayed planted where I was. I was close enough to continue the discussion if need be, while also totally unprepared for whatever might happen. 

They turned to look at me again. I gave them a smile and a single nod — one of those “I’m really glad you got my point” nods. Apparently I have a “don’t mess with bunnies” look. 

Let me tell you, friends – it took until the end of the course (a few holes more) before my nervous system felt regulated again. I had to be really intentional about it. 

I felt surprisingly mad. 

AND, it was a super good opportunity to practice what I do here. Hard as it was, I got curious. I wonder about her childhood. I wonder what she’s carrying. 

I wonder if she had a need to feel seen as a younger child, but didn’t get that need met – so she’s trying now, in different ways.

I wonder if she was perhaps not treated with compassion, so she didn’t really learn to pass it along to others. I wonder if unkindness was part of her family culture. I wonder if someone was unkind to her. 

Maybe she’s had to go to desperate measures in the past to get attention. That’s what she learned she had to do. 

Maybe none of these possibilities are HER truth at all, but there’s something else going on that I just don’t understand. 

The bunny is okay. She and the guy finished the course close behind us, awkward as I felt about it. 

I pray that whatever parts of her need softening, soften.

I hope that whatever parts of me need patience and non-judgment, find patience and non-judgement.  

I hope that no matter what her story was (and is), that all of us never underestimate the influence we have in the lives of children. 

May the kindness we practice, in whatever big or small ways we practice it, be what people see around them. Pain is contagious, but so are grace and compassion.