The Gifts of Humanity

At the post office today, a woman of (I’m guessing) 85-90 years old was there to mail several large packages to Europe.

The post office was understaffed, and only two counters were open. This woman was having a lot of trouble figuring out the customs forms, how to write the addresses, etc.

My daughter and I got comfortable waiting in line. We were in no rush. Eventually, we made it to the other counter and were being helped by the other postal worker. It took a LONG time to get there, though.

As we were wrapping up, I saw the older woman turn toward the long line of people, which now extended through the entire post office and out the door. Looking very uncomfortable, she made an announcement:

“Everyone, I want you to know how sorry I am for taking so much of your time. I’m really struggling with filling out the forms. They’re so confusing and long, and the addresses don’t look right to me, so I’ve had to start over once or twice. I’m so sorry for making all of you wait for so long.”

No one responded.

Crickets.

Not a word.

I looked back at her and saw that she looked discouraged.

Although I was being helped, I spoke up, not only to her, but to the entire line of people, and responded, “Please don’t give it another thought. Those forms ARE confusing! We’ve all been in your situation, and we understand. It’s no trouble at all.”

She smiled and exhaled, as if she’d been holding her breath.

Just then, someone else said, “Yes, that’s right.”

Someone way farther back called out, “Amen!” (Didn’t expect that one.)

I heard numerous murmurs of agreement.

Should I have been the one to speak up? Not necessarily. After all, I was already being helped, so her apology was intended less for me than the people who still had a long time to wait.

Back at my car moments later, I wondered with a bit of frustration why no one else had offered this kind woman any sort of encouragement or validation. I don’t have a clear answer, but I do know this: I’m super comfortable with emotions and vulnerability. I haven’t always been this way, but after years of practice, pretty much nothing in these categories fazes me. I’ve learned to get very comfortable with others’ discomfort.

To be sure, I’ve missed a LOT of opportunities like this one.  I am thankful to have had a chance to “show up” for this woman in a small way, and open the door for others to do the same.

My encouragement to all of us (self included, because I, too, have room to grow) is to model showing up for people. Be the one to speak up. Be the one to show the kids, “It’s okay to talk to strangers.”

The whole “talking to strangers” message is so different from what many of us learned growing up.

If I dare make this bold statement, I don’t love how disconnected many people seem to be these days. (It’s me. I’m “many people.” I’m often disconnected.) In the moments where we CAN remember to put down our phones, or defenses, and our biases against strangers or otherwise, we make room to see something beautiful:

A human.

Might be an old human. Or a very young one. Regardless, the young ones are watching how we show up for each other.

I encourage you to speak up with words of kindness, compassion, and understanding. These are among the great gifts of humanity.

Xo,

Sarah, author of “Peaceful Discipline”