Counting to Three: A Positive Parenting Version

Many kids have an inherent panic response when Mom or Dad starts counting, “1…2…3…”—the three most fearsome numbers of childhood. Although the consequences differ from household to household, counting is often code for imminent trouble. Peaceful, positive parenting can change that. Rather than counting to three as a threat (suggesting punishment that’s rarely effective anyway), […]

Highly Sensitive Person Parenting Strategies

Empathic and Highly Sensitive Person

The empathic Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) may be relatively new as a namesake, but certainly not as a concept. Some of us are just wired a bit differently than most others, be it from nature or nurture (although in this case, science argues for both). And with nature to thank—not to blame, but to thank—those of […]

Understanding Children’s Behavior: One Simple Idea

Every week, I help teach a dance class. And every week for the past three months, six-year-old Lexi (not her real name) has had to be first in line when the children await their dance props (scarves and whatnot). When it’s time to line up, she’ll push other kids out of the way to get the prime spot. […]

Preparing for the Inevitable: The Importance of Trusting Play

“Mommy, let’s pretend this isn’t a train tunnel.” “Okay, what is it?” “It’s a tomb.” Well, hello, conversation stopper. She paused for effect, which is a good thing, because I certainly didn’t expect that. After a moment to process and very consciously trust that children’s play serves an important purpose for them, I mentally cringed […]

Childhood Fears: How to Help Conquer Them

Childhood fears are as real to them, as our adult ones are to us. Case in point, when my daughter was younger and before I better understood highly sensitive children (afflinks), we drove past Seattle’s Fremont Troll and it scared the heck out of her. She dubbed it the second scariest thing in the universe, coming in […]

Finding the Patience for Positive Parenting, Part Two: Tricky Moments

We were every cliché: she spilled her milk all over the table and was using her fingers to spread it into a big and messy design; I was already waaaay late making dinner. I was feeling anxious and frustrated, and struggling to be mindful of the positive parenting ideas from part one of this article. (Yep, I’m […]

Finding the Patience for Positive Parenting, Part One: The Big Picture

We’ve all had that class—the one we were required to take to fill some requirement, but had absolutely no interest in taking. For me, it was a summer class during grad school. It was called “Miscommunication,” and I agreed–it must’ve been some incredible misunderstanding that I wasn’t at the beach. However, as much as it […]

5 Ways to Make “No” a Positive Experience

Ice cream for breakfast; impromptu gifts; cookies for lunch; no responsibilities ever; cake for dinner…oops…hold on…that’s my wish list, and I’m supposed to be writing about kids. A lot of people think positive parenting means giving children everything they ask for (i.e., permissive parenting). If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that, I’d be […]

Supporting the Introverted Child

Introverted Child

I was always a highly introverted child; an observer. It showed. For instance, when I was in high school, I learned that for my dance group’s upcoming graduation dinner, the other dancers selected me to receive the spoof award for being the “Most Reserved.” Knowing how much I despised being called by my “label” when […]