I was well into adulthood and fairly new to parenting when I realized how complicated my family of origin was. Growing up, I knew that my formative years didn't comprise what many would call a picture-perfect "healthy family environment"--after all, my father lived clear across the country and was struggling on many levels, and my […]

When people say it's important to "reparent yourself," they're referring to your ability to show up for yourself in the ways you always needed, but perhaps didn't receive from your family of origin. It's not that everyone was raised without healthy relationships. Many people were raised by loving families (or at least one emotionally healthy […]

How would you feel if I told you pushing boundaries is developmentally normal for children, and in fact, it's healthy? I imagine you'd have mixed feelings. That makes sense. On one hand, we want our kids to develop healthy boundaries of their own, and we're their safe place to practice. On the other hand, we […]

Many of us have heard the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." It's common justification for punitive consequences for children; specifically, spanking (also known as corporal punishment or physical discipline). Many people, including parents, assume that "spare the rod, spoil the child" comes from the Bible. Many of those same people are surprised to […]

Parent goals: "Have a perfect relationship where everyone feels emotionally connected all the time. Life is always one beautiful, smooth path forward. Rainbows and unicorns abound." Parent goals like that are effective exactly zero percent of the time. They're completely unrealistic. However, we often create all sorts of goals that--honestly--aren't all that different. Some parent […]

The best Christian parenting books are those that not only give practical advice, but that also help us reach our child's heart. After all, emotional safety is at the core of what helps children want to do well for us as their parents. The children who feel the safest with us will legitimately want to […]

The world can be a tricky place these days. There's no denying that. If we want to raise mentally tough kids who can handle it without becoming jaded--or worse, becoming part of the problem--parents need to empower children to address challenges in emotionally intelligent ways. We need to raise children who have both grit and […]

In the excerpt below from Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, and Better Behavior, I discuss how we can nurture our children's social-emotional intelligence and emotional maturity. Perhaps the most important take-away, though (spoiler alert!), is that emotionally mature people model emotional maturity, rather than expect children to magically pick it up out of nowhere. […]

As I write this, it's November 30: my child's Advent calendar is hanging downstairs, still empty, for her to find in the morning. Rather than fill it with trinkets that will soon be forgotten by her (but not by our planet), I'm planning to fill it with 25 ways to say "We love you." This […]

Sleep deprivation and other struggles in the early years are real, and it doesn't take long before bleary-eyed parents of small children ask, "What's the magical age? WHEN does parenting get easier?" As exhausted as you might be right now, there's hope for parents at every stage of their child's development. I'll go through each […]